Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Waiting


“I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage. And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord.” (Psalm 27:13-14) Over the past month, these verses have been a wellspring of life to my soul. I am in a season of brokenness. Within the last weeks, I have cared for a young mother of 2 boys as she suffered the painful effects of HIV/AIDS & died. I have cried as I looked into the eyes of those same boys as they buried their mother. On that day, there were no tears in their eyes; instead, their eyes were filled with fear and questions too difficult to ask. A few days later, I held within my arms a 2 week old baby as she drew her final breath. And then I sat and grieved with the baby’s mother as she no longer had her baby to hold.
I live and breath among a people that know the feelings of hunger, disease & death- all too well. I confess there are moments that I want to run away to a place where life can be comfortable and where I won’t feel the burden or hear the cries of the poor. But when I am still, I know there is something deeper within me. It is the love of Christ: it is what compelled me to come and is what will allow me to remain. Recently, I have been considering Jesus’ journey to the cross, and I am realizing that the only thing greater than His suffering was His compassion for the people for which he died. Mother Teresa was quoted saying: “If you love until it hurts, there is no hurt only more love.” I don’t fully understand what this means or know how to live it out, but I believe there is a great truth hidden within. As I strive to learn what it means to wait upon the Lord & seek Him to be my refuge and strength, I know it is no longer simply about what He can give. Sure, I pray for the blessings of God to be released upon this place. I pray for lives to transformed and sicknesses to be healed, but I long for more than the blessings He can give. I long for Him. And so I will wait and trust the sufficiency of His grace to be my strength and my joy.

HIV/AIDS Home Based Care Update…
The Home Based Care program continues to thrive and is a blessing to both the families cared for as well as to those of us who provide care. We are currently visiting and assisting 26 families affected by HIV within our community. The numbers of people infected surface almost on a weekly basis. As I have already shared, there are many challenges involved; but I am grateful to God for the ways He is providing ideas and resources to care for those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. HIV testing remains available to the community at our ELI Health Dispensary. Over the past 6 months, we have tested over 200 clients for HIV with 25 people testing positive. As truth is spoken and compassion is extended, I see the reality that fear truly can be replaced with hope. And I thank God. We are currently preparing to teach another 3-day seminar on Home Based Care to individuals from the churches in surrounding communities. The need for compassionate care to be extended is so evident. Day by day, I am asking God for ideas and the means to live out His love. Thank you for your continued prayers- they are desperately needed.

The journey…
One year ago, this week, I was finishing my packing, saying good-bye to family and friends, and preparing to board a flight on a one way ticket to Kenya. I had very little idea of what awaited me, but I knew that God had led me. This year has been full of adventure and learning. I have experienced community in a way that I have always desired, and I have seen longtime dreams realized. There have been seasons of sorrow and brokenness equally met by moments of pure joy. More than ever, I feel God’s anointing upon my life to be in Kenya. So, as long as He leads me here, I will remain.
I am planning to come to the U.S. for a visit in November and will remain through Christmas. I am greatly looking forward to time with family and friends and for opportunities to share more of what God is doing within the ministry of ELI as well as within my own life.
Your prayers, financial gifts, and encouragement are blessings I will forever be grateful for. I want to thank you again for your continued partnership with me in this journey. May God bless you.

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