Fasting

Throughout this day, I have been challenged by the suffering that surrounds me. I have been asking God for wisdom and compassion to respond. I went to a home this morning to visit a three week old baby girl named Michelle. Her mother tragically died during childbirth. She had labored and delivered Michelle at home; but when the placenta failed to deliver, she was carried several kilometers to our clinic. She passed away upon arrival. She was a single mom and left behind three young children. As I sat beside the grandmother who is taking care of this baby, tears streamed down her face. She asked questions without answers. She wanted to know why four of her daughters have died. She talked of the pain that fills her, the responsibilities that feel unbearable. Then she said, with her hand on the baby’s forehead: “this is my blessing that God has left behind.”
As I listened to the words from this grandmother’s broken heart, a passage I read this morning in Isaiah flooded my mind. It says:
Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; when you see the naked, that you cover him, and not hide yourself from your own flesh? Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard (58:6-8).
I considered this question: what must I be willing to give up, in this situation, in order to extend compassion? The answer, at least for the moment, was my comfort. I chose to be present with this family and to feel their pain. There were no simple answers to their loss, and so I refrained from trying to offer any. This may sound noble; but the truth is, it is the only thing I had to offer. As I left the home, I held this tiny gift from God and told her that she was loved, that she was known by God, that this was not her fault. I am convinced that, as Mother Teresa put into words, “only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them”.